Of all things the things on the Race so far, I think one of the most bizarre things I've witnessed is love. Don't take this the wrong way, but I just don't get why people love us. We've been at places for literally 15 minutes and had complete strangers offering us places to sleep and buying us groceries. I just can't wrap my mind around it. 

The most recent display of undeserved love brought me to tears. But it wasn't a stranger I just met that blessed my life; it was 2 of my teammates.

Friday night we had a guy/girl youth group at the church, and I was feeling kind of dejected as I walked up the stairs to the kitchen after trying to teach the women about truth. As soon as I walked in the kitchen Joe came flying at me and demanded that I close my eyes. After much protesting I complied, all the while asking if this was some kind of prank. "No we promise its not a prank!" they chimed in. "Okay okay but I better not get a pie in the face or anything," I responded, confused at why they all started laughing at my comment. 

"Okay open your eyes"

I stared in disbelief at what I saw. Joe and Heather, with huge grins, were offering me a plate. On the plate sat the prettiest little apple pie baked in a mess kit bowl! They had baked an apple pie. Just one. Just for me.

Not knowing how to respond I starting laughing, but quickly had to turn around as I was brought to tears in complete confusion as to what in the world had made my brother and sister do something so special and unique just for me. Joe said he got the idea a couple weeks ago and had been planning ever since.

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Earlier this month a group of us went to Pozega, a small nearby town, and worked with a church for a week. While we were there we were blessed to meet Joe and Alice, a missionary couple form the States. They were so encouraging and truly touched each of our lives. The second day we were there, Alice really made an impact on mine. Why? She made us lunch.

I know what you're thinking...Really? Lunch impacted your life?

Yes. Because she made us MEXICAN FOOD! She made TACOS! And these weren't weird-because-you're-somewhere-no-where-near-the-border-tacos. These were legit, like the kind my mom makes back home. I was already head over heels in love with this woman when she pulled out the big guns: When we had stuffed ourselves to the point of busting with delicious tortilla awesomeness, she set before us APPLE PIE. Real, authentic, homemade apple pie. And this was honestly the best apple pie I've ever had. Maybe I was overly emotional from the amount of tacos I'd stuffed in my belly, but I actually almost cried at the meal Alice had prepared for us. I was so humbled and so grateful.

Well when we got back to Osijek, we shared with the other team what had happened throughout the entire week, including my near emotional breakdown at the sight of Alice's pie. Evidently it was at this moment that Joe's mind started devising a plan. Hey, I know how to make a pie. And wouldn't it be cool to make Lauren so happy that she cries!? (or something close to that) entered his mind and, once Heather jumped on board, they set out to surprise me.

Unfortunately for my dear brother and sister I began fasting within the next few days. Having spoiled their plan, they patiently waited for the fast to be over. Looking back on my fast, the two were particularly interested in how I was doing and how much longer I would persevere. I had figured they were just holding me really really accountable every time they asked!

Once my fast was over they set out on their top-secret mission. Well, as of Friday night, it was successfully completed, tears and all. 

                               

        Heather and the pie.                                                  And Joe with his masterpiece.

                                            

I'll never be able to thank my brother and sister for blessing my life that night. It's amazing how much one little pastry can humble and make you feel so loved. 

There's been a lot of talk lately about Kingdom dreams. But every time the subject is brought up, I'm left wondering, what is my Kingdom dream? What is the Lord calling me to do to further His kingdom?

Every morning we come together as a team and pray. About a week ago the Lord led Tamica to ask us to just sit in silence for awhile with open ears as to receive whatever the Lord wanted to give us. He gave me a vision.

I've had visions before, but rarely are they present or applicable right away. What I mean is that usually they're more like images or pictures to be interpreted. But this one was different. I pictured the sanctuary of the church we've been partnering with in Pula. I was standing in front of the room. The men and women had been separated, the men to my left in a little nook, and the women before me in the main area. And us Racers were the one's teaching. I felt the men being empowered, built up as the Men of God they are called to be. As for the women, it was all about truth. They were being discipled about the lies of the enemy and some of the ways to tighten the Belt of Truth around their waists. 

I just sat there. I didn't mention my vision until the end, and even then it was more of an afterthought. But Tamica decided to ask Pastor Daniel about us leading some kind of service. He agreed and said the Youth Service on Friday night was ours.

Not wanting to speak again since I just shared my testimony on Wendesday, I prayed and asked for advice on who should lead. God placed Joel and Matt, and Dez and Danielle on my heart. I've been living with the boys so it was easy to ask if they would be willing to lead the men's time. However Dez and Danielle were harder to seek out and so as of Friday morning it was all me.

I was strangely calm about the situation. I had seen myself speaking so I figured maybe I was supposed to? I have been struggling so much with the spiritual battle in my mind this month that I thought maybe it was all preparation for this night. When I ran into Dez and Danielle Friday morning I mentioned the idea of them leading in passing and both of them, almost immediately, agreed to help and speak to these women.

Going into the night I got more and more nervous. I hadn't really prepared anything, but I knew that there was something to be said. It's the first time that I think I've allowed the Spirit to actually lead me away from preparing so I'm not worried about sticking to some plan I've come up with all by myself. As Tamica sat with two of the church leaders discussing what the night was going to look like, goose bumps prickled up al over when one of them said "I feel the Holy Spirit has a lot in store for us tonight."

I knew the Lord would use me when I began to despair in worship. This time when normally I'm filled to the brim became a time of pain and concern. Physically the enemy tried to hinder my walking in obedience. First my throat got scratchy. Quite a few people have been feeling sick and we had even prayed for Matt's throat a little while before, but before then my throat had been great, my voice clear. Along with scratchiness, my throat kept closing. Not enough to choke me, but just enough to cause me to gag every once in awhile. Enough to keep me from worshipping. My head started spinning and aching. Sharp pains shot up and down my back. I felt weak and confused as to what was happening to me. But thankfully God allowed me to recognize what was going on. Like a foe tries to block the path of his enemy, Satan was trying to cripple me and keep me from pressing on. I sunk down in my chair and was led to verses upon verses about strength and health. And when the last song was played before we were to split up, I was able to stand and sing of the Lord's love for me and my sisters.

Nothing about that night was me. I don't even remember what words came out of my mouth. I remember feeling defeated and like I was rambling, but my sisters here have done such a great job reminding me that its often right before/after the Lord uses us that the enemy attacks the hardest. All I know is that at least one person was up-lifted by that night. And to me, that's enough. I didn't have anything to do with what was planned and what went down, but the Lord allowed me to be a vessel for making it happen. So even though my vision was small in comparison to what other people might envision of dream about their role in the Kingdom-bringing we've been called to, the Lord was faithful in fulfilling it. He allowed me to dream and within days made it come true.

Matija, a youth in the church we‘re staying at here in Pula, invited us to come help out with some kind of farming ministry. When we got there, we realized that we were actually at his own home, getting to spend some wonderful time with his family. We learned all about the foster families in the area while we waited for the rain to let up...

Teammate Matt really liked the cookies Matija's mom gave us!

After the rain cleared up my newly rearranged team (temporarily) had worked all day helping clear and burn some brush and dig post holes for the family's new fence (see pictures scattered throughout!). I loved actually having physical ministry! 

When we were done we were blessed with a  delicious lunch and conversation. Matija drove us home and we all went our separate ways for a bit: Matija took Jenn to a computer store hoping they would be able  to fix her Mac, Heidi and Matt went on the hunt for a new hat, and I settled in to actually check my email for once and start dinner. We invited our new friends to stay for dinner and said a quick prayer that the Lord would multiply our food (yet again). He did (yet again) and after dinner a few of us set out on what we thought was a quick trip to the market. But no luck -- it was closed. So Matija, in his graciousness, offered to drive us to a grocery store that was open later than the rest. 

And then there was Kaufland.

I could probably write a whole blog about my awe and wonder of a real supermarket. But it wasn't the aisles of discounted deliciousness that the Lord used to teach me something that night. It was Matija. After our excursion we stopped by his apartment so he could drop some stuff off. To my confusion he walked back to our big red van carrying a case of cereal. Yes, an entire case. He hopped in the van, handed it to Joe and said, "For you". 

Turns out the foster child center his mom runs recently received a ginormous donation of cereal and he wanted to share the yummy flaky blessings that had been given to him. I sat in shock for a second that this Croatian guy that we met only yesterday turned and gave away what the Lord had just given him. I tried to convey my thanks and he hesitantly accepted. He then decided to explain a little bit about why he doesn't like being thanked.

And then he said something that will probably stick with me for quite awhile. He explained that it shouldn't be a big deal. He talked about the church and how when he has more than he needs, he should give it. It's that simple. We were in need and he had something we needed, so he gave. That should be the norm. It shouldn't be just a once-in-awhile giveaway; it should an everyday way of life. 

At 20 years old, Matija has a deeper understanding of the Acts church than most people gain their entire lives. I am so thankful to have been with him in that van, in the middle of Pula, Croatia on a random Thursday night. Just a reminder that God can use anything, even cereal, to teach you a big lesson.

There's a song that I've been playing over and over.

I usually put my iPod on shuffle and flip through the songs depending on what mood I'm in. Occasionally I'll listen to a sermon or listen to an audio book, but for the most part I just wait to see what fills my ears next. 

But lately there's a song that I search for. Only Love Remains by JJ Heller. If you can't find a way to listen to it, here are the lyrics:

The sincerity in her voice as she sings rings true to me right now. The lyrics speak to my spiritual reconstruction. Amidst my brokenness and my hurting, I know that the Lord is doing a good work in me. That any struggle or hardship I come across right now is part of His process of refining me to better reflect Him. God is love. All that should be in me is love. All I want to be in me is love. I deserve to die, but pray that He is gentle with me as He breaks me down. I'm tired of anything within me that is not love. I want it to be killed by a heavenly commission. I want nothing to do with this world and pray that anything holding me, pulling me down is burned away, even if it leaves me scarred. And though I am not worthy of being in His light, He allows me to be in His divine presence and dance with His joy. I pray to be humbled before our Father and can't wait to be called from the place where I finally died to myself at. My lifeless body can then be filled with love. My spirit and everything that runs through my veins can be love. Just love. Just God. Because God is love.

 

I know of some really great music. I tell people whenever I can, but I feel like at this point its blog-worthy.

Three words: United Pursuit Band.

Last year my friend Brittani gave me their CD and it didn't leave the CD player in my car until I sold it to pay for the trip. Their a group of Christians and their sounds is just different. Which I like. Within my group of friends they were well known and so I assumed everyone already knew about it. 

Enter The World Race. 

After Ignition Training Camp some of us Texas Racers got together and spent a day at the lake in Austin and just got to know each other a little better. Grant and I were talking music and I got to direct his ears to the sweet sounds of UPB. I passed the CD on and was stoked a couple weeks later when he told me that he learned a couple of the songs for a worship concert he was putting on before he left for the Race. Since then he's led us in worship with those songs countless times. The song "Fill Me Up" has become especially significant for us as we pour out more and more of ourselves here on the Race. So even out here, I'm passing on their music every chance I get.

But I decided not to wait for people to ask me about it to share it. Why not just tell everyone I can about it all the time? This is my widest-reaching medium of communication these days, so I thought I'd advertise some music that, for me, has made a HUGE impact on my walk with the Lord and continually inspires me to obedience and worship.

Their EP is great and is what I've had the most exposure to, so I recommend that one for sure. But when I started to write this blog I decided to get all the nad's info to pass on. It was then that I discovered they have TWO new CDs! Radiance has a lot of songs from their EP but the new tunes are definitely worth lending your ears their way. And then they partnered with Will Reagan to create In the Night Season which I'm loving and is basically just a whole separate CD of new music.  (My newest fav: "Break Every Chain")

I'm no musical expert, but if you want some new music that will encourage you and spur you on towards the Father then head over to iTunes, download their music, and get filled up!